Each night Zekey Pie asked his daddy, “Will you please make my bed with me in it?”
Then he asks me, will you please turn on Harry Potter for me to listen to?”
Skeeter is usually already asleep by this point.
Another habit that Zekey Pie built was in reaction to me. I required him to do a chore for me plus read for 20 minutes a day before he could have a turn on “technology” (the iPad.) He began getting up at 6:45 every morning to do his chore and read so that he could have his technology turn immediately after school. After a week or two, he got Skeeter on board with this schedule, and they would both be done with their chores and reading before school. After a month, Banana Cream Pie was even following their example. I loved it.
This little yellow flower is named “Adonis Blazingstar.” While it may be a little extravagantly named, it did stop me in my tracks the first time I saw it on my evening walk.
It looks its best in the late afternoon as the sun begins to set and the air begins to cool down. I have not managed to get of picture of it at that time of day yet.
On Saturday, May 11, we drove to Hovenweep National Monument to hike and see the ruins. It was an hour and a half drive into even more remote and sparsely populated desert than Monument Valley, and The Man of the House commented, “How would you like to live out here in the middle of nowhere?”
I sassily relied that it “wasn’t any different from where we live now,” and was rewarded by his wry chuckle.
When we arrived, the blustery, chilly weather turned to heavy slushy rain. So instead of hiking, we watched the 18 minute video at the visitors’ center, resisted buying the thirst-trap stuffed animals, ate our lunch in the van, and drove the hour and a half back home. I actually felt pretty good about the whole thing, because it was family together time and a beautiful drive.
For Mother’s Day, I was given this cute bear (from Hunter) and a whole bouquet of white paper flowers from Banana Cream Pie and Zeke.
Peach Pie wrote me a lovely thank you letter, in which she talked about how -now that she is moved out of our home and living at college— she realizes that I did a lot for her that she didn’t appreciate before. For the years of 2021-2022, I often felt like Peach Pie thought I was the worst mother ever, so this letter was especially gratifying to read.
Card from Apple Pie
The Man of the House gave me this book, which I am looking forward to reading.
This desert flower is called Apricot Mallow.
This one is in the mint family, but I’m not sure of its name yet.
I also do not know the name of this bush, which is taller than I am.
On May 17, I had an interview at Tse’bii’nidzisgai Elementary School (pronounced “say-bee-needs-ees-guy” and means “Monument Valley” in Navajo).
I have been officially hired to teach 4th grade next year, and I am so thrilled. Teaching elementary school has been my dream since I was 6 or 7 years old. I used to line up my teddy bears and dolls and teach them that 2 +2 = 4 and c-a-t spells “cat.”
One of the other teachers at the school said to me “that class needs to have a teacher who cares about them for once.” And that squeezed my heart and made me even more determined to teach them well next year. Many of the teachers there are very good teachers, but some are not so good. Out here so far from everywhere, the school sometimes has to accept what it can get.
My pocket piggy- he may get to be a classroom pet this fall.
On Saturday the 18, we helped make a garden for a woman in our ward.
First, the ground was cleared and sprinkled with organic matter and fertilizer. Then that was tilled into the soil/sand.
The men raked it into raised rows and set up drip lines down the center of each row. We also put a new fence around the garden.
I did help some, but there were not enough tools and not enough garden for everyone who showed up to help, so a large portion of the time, I was just standing around getting sun-burned and feeling extra.
Banana Cream Pie at her 6th-grade Promotion.
I’m so glad she found friends to love.
All the Navajo girls wore traditional dress. They were so beautiful.
Today, the last Saturday in May, the Man of the House and I took these beautiful girls to the Monticello temple to do baptisms. It was a good day.
I was asked to share some thoughts on the topic “Bloom Where You are Planted” at a Relief Society meeting. These are my ideas that I shared:
Be Grateful– As humans, we tend to focus on what we lack. God has asked us to give thanks every day, and to be grateful in all things. This is a gift to us to help us overcome our natural tendency to focus on what we lack.
Bob Goff said, “We are not held back by what we don’t have. We are held back by what we do have and don’t use.”
One way to bloom is to look around and ask yourself, “What resources do I have that I’m not using?”
Be Glad– My grandmother, Lenore Bennion, told me, “Happiness is not getting what you want. Happiness is doing your duty and being glad.”
One way to bloom is to ask yourself good questions that lead to gladness.
“Why?” is generally a terrible question. e.g. “Why is my house always so messy?” “Why are things so hard right now?”
Instead ask “How?” or “What?” questions:
How can I get my work done and have fun at the same time?
What can I do to laugh a lot today?
How can I make today better than yesterday?
What can I do to show my boss that I am the best person for this job?
Recognize Your Value- Another way to bloom is to recognize your true value.
On a Sunday morning in January, six years ago, I stayed home from church with my 2-year-old twins, who were both feverish. As I sat on the couch snuggling them, I felt suddenly an awe that my presence was what they wanted most. They were miserable, and they just wanted me. It’s incredible, really. All the things I constantly criticize myself for, they didn’t care about. They didn’t care that I needed to lose 40 pounds. They didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing makeup or dressed in trendy clothes. They didn’t care that the dinner I fixed the night before was hasty and lacked vegetables. They didn’t care that I hadn’t mopped the floor yet. They just wanted me. That is unconditional love. That is my true value.
Realize that when you are doing what you can do, that is enough, and it is valuable-
“You never know how much good you do. …You are doing the best you can, and that best results in good to yourself and to others. Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure. Get on your knees and ask for the blessings of the Lord; then stand on your feet and do what you are asked to do. Then leave the matter in the hands of the Lord. You will discover that you have accomplished something beyond price. ~Gordon B Hinkley To the Women of the Church 2003
If it is uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean you are failing or withering-
As we bloom and grow, we can recognize that growing is not always easy. Growth means change, and change can be scary and uncomfortable. If life feels a little bit hard- that’s good! That means you are learning and changing!
“It might be hard at first or always. “If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived.” ―Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Inconvenient Messiah”
Work on something you are good at and than give you joy-
Another way to bloom is to spend time on something you are good at. Always setting goals to work on what you are weak at can get discouraging. Work on something that brings you joy! Heavenly Father gave you gifts for a reason.
1 Timothy 4:14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery (elders).
The same principle applies to service. You don’t always need to know what is most needed, you can serve out of the abundance of what brings you joy. We bloom when we serve others from the joy that overflows out of our hearts.
We feel inadequate because we are.
Let go of control of the outcome. Bring your little basket of loaves and fish to the Savior’s feet and let Him multiply them.
When we are going through hard things, it can be easy to think that God has forgotten us, that he is not nearby. But the scriptures show us a different picture:
In the Book of Mormon in Jacob chapter 5:21-22
“And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master: How comest thou hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard.
And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not; I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit.”
The Lord knows where you are planted, he knows the difficulty of your ground, and he is nourishing you. He knows what is good for you and for your family.
“So keep loving. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep growing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever.” ―Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Tomorrow the Lord Will Do Wonders Among You”
The Man of the House and I drove south to Phoenix for the Gather conference. There was no school Friday, so we could travel during the day. We found a delicious Chinese-Korean restaurant in Mesa and spent the night in a lovely Air BnB.
Saturday morning, we had breakfast at a Mexican restaurant (not so delicious as we had hoped), and headed to the conference. We got to meet Ben Schilaty, Tom Christofferson, and Richard Ostler in person. It was strange to meet so many people in real life whose books and podcasts have been so influential and inspiring to us. I was totally a star-struck goose and had nothing intelligent to say to any of them, except “thank you.” We met and made friends with other LDS parents of LGBTQ kids. The feeling of love, connection, and kindness was overwhelming and wonderful.
My favorite speaker was the very first one, Greg Peterson. Mr Peterson is president of the community college in Chandler, Arizona. He compared the way elect universities, like BYU, operate and what kind of students attend those universities with the way community colleges operate and what kind of students attend there. He suggested that if we thought of Zion more like a community college and less like an elect university, we could better meet the needs of far more of Heavenly Father’s children.
At the community college, they know that all students do not have the same goals. They try to help guide the students toward goals that will be beneficial long term, but they also help those students reach their current goals. The college knows students will probably take breaks from school occasionally, and instead of fearing that, they just make it as easy to return to school as possible.
I’ve known many people in my life who could not identify with being elite or elect. I think they would like to hear more talk about Zion where everyone who wants to be there is included.
My favorite phrase from the conference:
“If you don’t fit in Zion, we aren’t done building it yet.”
I sat in front of two of the cutest gay missionaries, one wearing a rainbow vest knitted by a granny (I can’t remember if it was his own granny or someone else’s.) They said I gave off nurturing vibes, which made me so happy.
At the end of the conference, we sang together “All Are Alike Unto God” by Janice Kapp Perry. She wrote it last fall for the first Gather Conference ever held. It is poignant and beautiful music, and I cannot sing it without weeping.
Then the Captain and I drove the five hours home to Monument Valley and our waiting kids, full of love.
Yesterday I was missing the springtime birds of Missouri. I wished for the cacophony of birdsong that I could hear in my front yard every morning. I had worked to learn to identify the different bird calls, and I knew many of them: cardinals, blue jays, Carolina wrens, oriole’s, red-winged blackbirds, dickcissel, meadow larks, robins – they felt like friends.
I was thinking that I haven’t heard any birdsong here in the desert, though I have seen ravens and a little brown sparrow-type bird.
This morning, I woke early with ideas for young women’s, so I got up to write them down and study how best to achieve a meaningful activity for the girls this week. We suddenly have 9 girls coming to activities frequently, although sometimes it dips down to 3 again.
On Sunday in Young Women’s class, one of the girls spoke of going to a cultural ceremony. She expressed that she had felt fear that she would offend God by going to it, but that she wanted to honor her heritage also. So she went, and she prayed that God would forgive her for going, and she felt peace. I told her that God wants her to honor her heritage, and I felt right in saying it, although I know that not every single traditional practice is good.
It has been interesting to see how some of the Navajo adults at church felt they had to abandon every Navajo teaching – that is was all of the devil— and how others find the similarities and connections with Christian faith, and it strengthens their testimony of God.
I want the young women to be able to honor and keep the good, wise teachings of their heritage without fear. I’ve been studying what principles I can teach them to help them feel confident in keeping all that is good in their Navajo traditions, and how to pray for guidance if they feel confused or unsure about something (as this young woman did.) And that they can move forward, learning as they go and not be afraid that they will be condemned for mistakes.
As I was finishing up making notes of the thoughts and ideas I had, I heard a bird chirping right outside my door, so loudly! It practically rang my doorbell and announced, “Hey, I’m out here!”
I stepped outside my door and watched the sunrise and listened to the birds I had not heard before. Heavenly Father really is there in the small details of my life. His love is so generous and abundant, even when I don’t think to pray for the little things my heart longs for. What I have now are some new birds to make friends with, and sufficient notes to guide a discussion with the Young Women about Our Heavenly Father, Mother, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. By the end of it, my hope is each girl will know that she has a testimony of their love for her.
Love,
GlowWorm
My Christmas amaryllis bloomed a few days after Easter! It is beautiful
Friday was a break from school, so Ben and I drove to Page, Arizona. I forgot that Page is on standard time, instead of daylight time, so we got there an hour early for our grocery pick-up.
Since we had bonus time, we got tacos at a taco truck and drove over to see the Glenn Canyon dam.
After that, I managed to get a last minute appointment for a hair cut, and Ben picked up the groceries at Walmart. (Page is our closest Walmart- only 2 hour drive from Monument Valley!)
I miss the spring flowers in Missouri, but the school does have this flowering tree.Saturday, the kids and I colored eggs
We also made resurrection rolls and put them in the fridge for Sunday.
I made these drop-crotch pants for Banana Cream Pie, who prizes comfort over style.
I really missed getting together with family for Easter. But we had a nice ham dinner, and an indoor egg-hunt, because there was a sandstorm blowing outside. I made the kids wait outside in the wind while we hid the eggs. 😂
Sunday evening, we had a glow stick dance party with all the glow sticks from the egg hunt.
Marvelous Pigs in Satin 