So I think the best thing about being pregnant with twins is that when well-meaning strangers say to me
“Wow! You are huge! Are you sure you aren’t having twins? You look like you are about to pop!”
I can say, “Actually I am having twins.”
I get huge with every pregnancy. My guess is that because I’m short-waisted, the baby has nowhere to go but out. So by the time I am 6-7 months pregnant, I get comments like the above every day from just about everyone who lays eyes on me. Or the comment’s cousin:
“Wow! You are huge! Are you due, like, tomorrow?”
I plaster a stiff smile on my face and say, ” No I actually have 8 weeks left.”
Then I inwardly cringe at the look of horror that crosses their face, clearly they are sure my skin will give way much before then, and I will explode.
I often wonder why people think it’s okay to inform a pregnant woman that she is the most horrifyingly huge thing they’ve ever beheld. As if maybe she hasn’t noticed that she’s put on weight?
I always want to say “Thanks for pointing out that I look like a hippo, that really made my day.”
There is this very nice man that goes to my church who commented on how huge I was two Decembers ago when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Baby Bean. I think he was trying to be funny. To this day, when I see him, I feel a twinge of intense dislike. It surprises me, because that’s pretty rare for me to not like a person–especially someone who is really a very nice person. The hormones burnt my emotional reaction to his “great with child” comment into my brain forevers. An elephant never forgets.
It’s a bad idea to insult a pregnant woman.
I suggest you even stay away from adjectives like “majestic” because they imply largeness.
Trust me, a woman who has put on 25-30-60 pounds in the last 8 months is not unaware of the fact. Nor is she unaware of how uncomfortable she feels or how moving at all is difficult and sometimes painful. Last time she was getting out of the shower and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she was momentarily frightened (“Dear Goodness! What is that huge pink thing?”) before she realized it was herself.
The only comment I hate more is “Haven’t you had that baby yet?”
Hello! Would I be here looking swollen and miserable if I had? Saying this to a pregnant woman who is past her due date will incite murderous feelings within her breast. I would not vouch for your safety. Lock your doors while you sleep. Better yet, keep that comment to yourself.
This time around, when people comment on how huge I am, I can say
“I’m having twins, that’s why.”
And maybe I’ll feel less like its me that is huge. Because really, it’s the babies, and I do want them to be huge, healthy babies.