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Eyebrows

3 Jun

Okay. It seems that the 1st Lieutenant who sometimes resides in my house took MY camera with him to his State Emergency Tornado Cleanup Duty. Thus I can provide no pictures of the murderously short summer haircuts. (Which looked better in the light of day next morning, thankfully.) So if I wish to blog, I must content myself with blogging about something for which I already have pictures.

That means I have to tell a story on myself.

Sigh. Here Goes….

As you will note in the following picture, some people in my family have great eyebrows. Some people meaning all of my sisters.

Don’t they look fabulous? p.s. this little pouf hairstyle is the one that earned me the polygamous hair comment from a friend. My sometimes resident 1LT reluctantly admitted upon questioning that it seemed a little old fashioned. I said, “But so & so wears her hair like that.” He laughed and said, “Yeh, she does.” Apparently that was not good defense on my part. dang’t

So about a year ago, I decided that kempt brows would help with making me look more like I cared how I look (You can always tell a cheerleader/soccer mom by her thin eyebrows, even if she has no makeup, a messy ponytail and sweats on. You can also tell her by how skinny and tan she is, but I have limits. No offense intended to any of my readers who are skinny or like to tan a lot. I still love you, my skin just genetically will not tan. Plus I fear cancer.)

anyway…
I got my brows waxed for my birthday. After that I tried to keep them up myself. Last summer, while in Dallas for Mary Kay Seminar, I sat down in front of one of those lighted magnifying mirrors. It was amazing. I could see every little hair. I got a little carried away and perhaps overplucked a bit. (alot) In my defense, I think I had low blood sugar and it affected my judgement.

exhibit A:

Several months later it was again my birthday and I mentioned that perhaps I would go have my brows waxed.

My sometimes resident 1LT said, “Just don’t go to the place you went last time. They gave you old lady eyebrows.”

me (!!!! no way am I admitting I did that to myself!!!)

“Was it that bad? You didn’t say anything at the time.”

Him: “Well, you really couldn’t do anything about it, so no point in making you feel bad.”

Me: “Don’t worry, I won’t go back there.” (note to self: Never pick up tweezers without having eaten something first. ever.)

I’d like to interject here that he said it all very nicely and picked just the right time to tell me when I could appreciate his advice and not have my feelings hurt. I really was glad to have been warned away from making the same mistake twice. So don’t be hating the 1LT.

I think I’m doing better as the first pic in this post and the following one show.

Meh, I don’t know. My eyebrows are still more round than angled. The thing is, I have round eyebrows. Just do. No getting around it. ha ha… around it … round eyebrows… whew! I should get some sleep.

The thing is, I can’t sleep tonight. It’s one of those nights where I keep thinking of all the ways I fell short today and what a terrible selfish mother / friend I am. Sigh. I just have to do better tomorrow and be grateful that most of my friends are the really forgiving type. You know, the kind who always look at dumb things you do or say and think of the most positive wonderful reason why you did/said that. The kind who know I meant well even if it all came out horribly wrong.

I love you guys.

You help me to have hope that I can be better.

Thanks.

True Confessions

9 Mar

Once upon a time, there was a mommy who agreed to carve a jack-o-lantern for her childrens for Halloween.

Carving the pumpkin went pretty smoothly, even the part where she made the childrens scoop out the slimy seeds.

But then the mother realized that she didn’t have any tea light size candles to put in the pumpkin’s head and light up his face.

After searching around, she found a half-burned up pillar candle (blueberry scented). The only problem was, as many pillar candles do, this one had burned down inside itself so there were high walls of wax shielding the flame from the pumpkin’s face, so no light could be seen.

So the mother decided to trim the walls off and expose the flame.

She did blow out the candle and pour off the hot melted bit.

She found a knife to trim with. *****Note: this candle was not made of that soft glowy see-through-ish kind of wax. It was a speckldy,hard, parafin-ish type of candle.

The mother began sawing on the candle. She did think, “hmm, I shouldn’t cut towards myself with this knife.” But the mother couldn’t figure out a cutting angle that wasn’t towards herself, so she just kept on and hoped for the best.

The tricksy knife slipped and stabbed the mother, right in the fleshy palm of her hand.

It was a very burning feeling. The mother took a quick peek at the wound. Luckily it wasn’t very deep into her hand–just about an 1/8 inch under the surface, but about 1/2 inch wide and 1/2 inch long. She washed it, packed it with Triple Antibiotic Ointment and covered it with a band-aide.

The childrens had to be satisfied with a non-light up jack-o-lantern. But the mother made a delish-i-ous treat to distract them. So they forgot the whole thing.

The pillar candle was vengefully thrown in the trash.

The Mother was too embarassed to tell her husband about the stabbing, because she had been using a knife in a foolish manner.

So she never told him.

She didn’t wash any dishes for about a week. Luckily, she had just washed them all recently, so the pile up didn’t seem much out of place, and the husband made no comments.

After about a four days, the wound healed shut and not even a scar remained to mark the spot.

The mother cannot even remember for sure which hand was stabbed.

The mother does not let dishes pile up like that on a regular basis any more, so must be careful not to stab herself again, lest someone notice.

The childrens are older now and might tattle on her too.

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