In Which I holler Uncle

For 3 and a half months I have been fighting a losing battle.

It’s been a roller coaster of hope and discouragement and deep exhaustion throughout.

The Scooter pies just aren’t good at nursing. I’ve realized none of my babies except Pumpkin Pie were. When I only had one baby, I could sit and feed them all day and it worked out ok. But with two, it just isn’t working.

Also the Dairy Queen’s cannot keep up. When Blueberry Pie was a baby, I could pump 2 overflowing 8 ounce bottles in about 10 minutes. Now, despite the fact that I’m eating double servings of oatmeal and peanuts every day as well as every other thing everyone has told me will boost milk production, I can only get about 2 ounces after half an hour of pumping. Maybe I’m too old. Maybe I’m too tired.

I also have 7 other children to take care of. I need to get off this crazy roller coaster ride.

And so I will be switching to feeding the twins formula, and stop trying to nurse them. And they will be alive and smart and fine.

I’m sad for me because I love the stage where I spend most of the day reading books and nursing babies.

But it’s just not workable any more.

This is as real as it gets.

❤ GlowWorm